Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah? Steve pits eight guys against each other in the battle for the best pickup lines. 430+ Dirtiest Pick Up Lines Ever - TheStallionStyle So one day I decided to do something about it. Steve Urkel: Did I mention my dad knows Wayne Newton? Laura: Curtis, I got my hair done, my nails. Steve Urkel was the breakout character for the hit Friday night ABC sitcom "Family Matters" while Jaleel White who played him was the show's breakout star. A heart that hurts. The '90s series "Family Matters" may have been about the Chicago-based Winslow family, but the show's breakout character was actually Winslow neighbor Steve Urkel. [Carl hits the mantel] Carl. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Seymour Butts? Laura: Yeah. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well for one thing, I can't feel my toes. Steve Urkel: Sh-she touched me, Carl! He held operations in Chicago. Steve Urkel: Swell, Punch! No! 2023. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Can it be a 976 number? Uh, Curtis. Cassie Lynn: Well, we just got some really hot photos of you being romanced by the Prince of Passion here. Steve Urkel: I've invented nuclear batteries. Steve Urkel: Oh, well, no problem-o. Hey, you could be making this whole thing up! Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. Urkel actor Jaleel White is launching his own cannabis brand | CNN Business Carl Otis Winslow: Come on, Harriette! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. I mean we've made contributions to this country for over 300 years, but you wouldn't know it looking at most history books, it's not fair. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? Steve Urkel: Uh, Eddie, is this a bad time? I wouldn't know what to charge. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh gee that'd scare me. Robber: [threatens Steve] You! That's all. She just slipped and I caught her. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. Steve Urkel: Well, the earth didn't exactly move for me either! Does that about cover it? Self respect. "Clean up your room, Edward." I mean the guy's a feeb. Myrtle Urkel: Oh, just two weeks. All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? I wanna take it home and read it to my mom. Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life. It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cornelius Eugene Urkel, you have better find a good excuse to leave town soon. Willie Fuffner: [Grabs Steves gloves] Urkel, you are dead meat! Harriette Winslow: [Takes an envelope from Carl] 'Lose Weight, Feel Great at Chicago's Premiere Health Spa, Hip Whippers'. He woke me up too. Laura Lee Winslow: [as Laura Wigglesworth, pointing a gun at Johnny] The narration to finish! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, cool. Steve Urkel: You know, every time you laugh you burn off three and a half calories? It was my nickname in preschool! Ms. Steuben: Well, I guess he's changed a little. Steve Urkel: Oh, please, Laura. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Yup. [Eddie leaves and Carl puts the chair away] Well that took care of everything. You are under arrest! Me and the guys were going to have a flyer party next Saturday when you go out of town. Someday, I'll thank myself for this. Carl Otis Winslow: That a girl, Harriette. Wow, are you wearing a bra? They help move along our sentences. It's a beautiful language. You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. She lived a long and full life. Forget it, Steve. Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. Look how big and thick it is! Lt. Murtaugh: Keep the pace, Mr. Backwards Hat! Steve Urkel: Don't panic, my love! 'Steve Urkel' actor launches cannabis brand on 4/20 And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. I met Raoul. Steve Urkel: And I'm Steve Urkel! Aunt Oona: Well not good, my kitchen exploded. Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. Carl: Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom? Could you write that A down on a piece of paper? It's just for the family Steve stop begging. I'm getting penalized because I'm emotionally stable! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series? Right now we're going to have a wedding, but directly after that we're going to have a funeral. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: It was Jan Matzeliger, in 1883. Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture. Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! So I walked in the library, sugar, I couldn't believe my eyes, there were THOUSANDS of books just sitting there waiting to be read. I'll grab my stuff and I'll be out of here tomorrow. Harriette Winslow: Before you stormed out of the house, I forgot to mention to you that I called OGD's Grandmother back in Detroit. Laura Lee Winslow: If I hadn't started that petition, none of this would've happened. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How could you mess this up? Or was it yellow? You kissed me. Harriette: What for? Clean up your room Edward. What are you? That's Lt. Murtaugh. You showed me a picture of your dog. "Tomorrow, Dad!" Laura Lee Winslow: [Faces Ty] Steve is my brother? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It was on his tongue! Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. Harriette Winslow: For my birthday, you bought me an exercise trampoline. [after Steve's Urk-yeast exploded all over the room]. Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Then, you'll need a wide-angle lense. Laura Lee Winslow: [comes in with Mother Winslow's dress from the dry cleaners] Ugh mom, this place is really getting gross. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Dadadadada! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Would you shut your filthy mouth! Mondo do du chok! Excuse me Waldo, is there something written on your arm? Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. [to Steve] I'm wearing you DOWN, baby! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why don't you take the guy's next door? Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. Carl: You know, bowling was a great idea. Laura: Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke! Laura: Sure, Steve. Am is a verb, verbs are our friends. You think I'm fat. Maxine Johnson: Yeah and poor you, you gonna miss your prom. Steve Urkel: Because, I love you love you love you! Steve Urkel: No, well, actually it's my Uncle Ernie's hearse. Rachel Crawford: Steve? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Rachel Crawfish? Steve Urkel: Mmm, steak. Harriette: [unsympathetic] Yes! It meant a lot to me. But I recognized him right away. Stefan Urquelle. Carl Otis Winslow: I do not care what other people think. My daughter's been hurt and I can't do a thing about it. Laura Lee Winslow: That's right, I don't know, and I still like the Cards. You're wrong, the maitre'd gave me a two for one coupon. "Smile, if you want to have sex with me." 4. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story? Steve Urkel: Oh, positive. Harriette: Well, if he remembers you, he's used to you looking like a jerk. Steve Urkel: Well, I didn't have one. Would you care to heal them with a kiss? Carl Otis Winslow: Look at it again, Harriette. No more chimes. Steve Urkel: [about the music video] This is going to be the biggest bomb since Howard the Duck. Steve Urkel: I have a spectacular evening planned! Cool. [Eddie agrees as Mother Winslow and Harriette walks out of the living room]. Eddie: No, Kyle's gone solo and Jerry went with him. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! Isn't that sad? [someone has just smashed into Lt. Murtaugh's classic car]. The people that did this to us are teaching the same GARBAGE to their kids. Steve Urkel: [panicked] um perhaps you mean "biosphere"? Harriette Winslow: Yeah. Family Matters Compilation - "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up - YouTube During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class. Laura Lee Winslow: First you better sprout a chest. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [is chased and hides behind a jock] Hold me back, hold me back. Rachel Crawford: Right. Rachel Crawford: Steve!, Steve! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What the heck is wrong with you? Cop: [Searching Willie and Waldo] Ok, where did you hide the booze? Laura: Well, that's because you have self-confidence. Steve Urkel: Loving you is like trying to touch a star. Rachel Crawford: Sort of an Urkel Exchange Program? Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". I'm jealous of Todd and you want me to help him. Carl: [in his regular voice] I have no idea. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I call Waldo Faldo up. Ms. Steuben: Oh, good. I just wanted to make things better but I ended up making them worse! Rachel Crawford: Well at least we know where it is. Steve Urkel: A little? People just love juicy gossip! Carl Otis Winslow: Yes, Harriette! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yes, those were very confusing times. Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! Rachel Crawford: Uh, Steve, would you mind coming over to the restaurant on Sunday at about 7:30? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No, I *am* a serious little nerd. Why would somebody do this to me?' He breaks something a beaker along the way]. No Traffic. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. I got a nosebleed at birth. Wa chee! [takes note and crumbles it, Laura slams locker door, revealing the word 'N*gger' spray painted on it]. Boyd broke my glasses. Please, my little Rapunzel. Carl Otis Winslow: There was an E.Coli scale in the chocolate and I tasted a few to make sure the box was safe. Carl Otis Winslow: [Gasps] Why of all the low down Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Calm down, Carl. I wanna play some of my own records on the jukebox, but I don't know how to put them in. Stefan Urkelle: Oh no, I didn't shut off the machine on time. Daniel Wallace: Hey, man. I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! [Goes to feel his head]. Raoul asked me out, but I told him that I was happily married. I want to know why my instructions were not followed. But I have feelings, too. [kisses Laura] Love you.

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